Some of the most creative people I know are often those who present themselves most simply. At first glance, they may seem understated—dressing casually, without the hyper-curated aesthetic that usually screams 'cool.' It’s like some kind of creative camouflage; their unique taste and perspective emerge only when you pay closer attention. To the casual observer, they’re not making overt statements or trying to stand out. Instead, they embody a quiet confidence in their subtlety—never over the top, just the right amount.
Think of those effortlessly cool women everyone wants to emulate—the ones who inspire entire aesthetics named after them. Names like Gabriette, Dakota Johnson, and more recently, Mikey Madison come to mind. The moment the world takes notice of these women, everyone rushes to imitate them, meticulously trying to recreate their “je ne sais quoi.” Ironically, “replicating” their effortless vibe often takes more work than the original style itself. For them, fashion isn’t about trying to set trends; it’s about being comfortable with themselves. That perfectly faded vintage tee and those worn-in sneakers they wore to grab an oat matcha? It’s highly likely they didn’t agonize over it; they just threw something on and headed out the door.
The truth is, the people who are genuinely “artsy” and cool—the ones everyone either 1) wants to be or 2) wants to be friends with—aren’t even aware of their “coolness” or the effect it has on others. You know the meme, “Is it a fit, or is it just Bella Hadid?” The answer: it’s probably just Bella Hadid, babe. Beyond the privilege of affording certain pieces and looking a certain way, it's often less about the outfit itself and more about the energy and confidence brought to it. And Bella Hadid brings just that. Whether she’s wearing vintage Levi’s or a Mugler runway dress, it’s her authenticity and confidence that truly sets her apart. Drawing inspiration from these icons is one thing, but thinking you can replicate the effortless cool they embody? That’s an entirely different challenge. That level of authenticity is simply irreproducible.
Social media plays a big role in this too (surprise, surprise). It’s easy to believe that the “artsy” personas and influencers we see online are like that in real life—perfectly curated, effortlessly cool, a little mysterious. We assume the aesthetic, polished grid we see reflects an equally magnetic personality. But what we often overlook is the performative nature behind it all. When someone goes out of their way to appear artsy or cool, be it through bizarre and clearly curated photo dumps seemingly full of inside jokes or purposely mismatched outfits, it actually has the opposite effect. It reveals just how much they care about being perceived a certain way. And is there anything less cool than trying so hard to be cool?
The most genuinely cool people have a quality that’s almost paradoxical—they’re memorable not because they seek attention, but because they genuinely don’t seem to care if they’re noticed at all. Their allure lies in a kind of aesthetic humility, from which creativity flows naturally, free from the burden of performativity. They don’t spend hours meticulously planning an outfit or perfecting the “right” photo dump to prove their authenticity; instead, they gravitate towards what feels right and what resonates with their personal taste and comfort. It’s precisely this laid-back nonchalance that others pick up on, admire, or try to emulate—often without realizing that imitation is its antithesis. But what’s truly interesting is how, once the world catches on, the style that initially felt so natural and uncontrived can get co-opted into a trend, even a brand. Suddenly, what was once just someone being themselves is turned into a hashtag or an aesthetic for you to save on Pinterest. It’s almost as if the world has a radar for these subtle forms of self-expression, seeking to commodify them into something replicable and marketable.
In the social media era, there’s a disconnect between real life and the screen. We see photos of “effortlessly cool” people in grainy, lo-fi images, striking casual poses in eclectic settings, and we think, “That’s who they are.” But the curated nature of these posts—intentional or not—belies the complexity of their real lives. It’s an image that appears spontaneous but is often carefully constructed to convey a certain vibe. The truth is, I find that the genuinely creative, carefree individuals often have less polished social media presences; their creativity isn’t something they feel compelled to showcase, and their lives are often richer for it.
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Ultimately, what makes these people magnetic is something intangible—something that can’t be copied or reduced to a visual template. It’s in the way they walk, the way they see the world, the conversations they have. They possess a quiet confidence and self-possession that shines without demanding attention, reminding us that the most captivating qualities are those that don’t scream for validation. In a world increasingly obsessed with appearances, perhaps true coolness is simply about embracing who you are, without needing to flaunt or replicate it.
I want to leave you with two little treats to round out your week: a song and a drink rec. First up, the song of the week: “Shades of Cool” by none other than Lana Del Rey. This b*tch invented the word ‘cool’ and has likely shaped the personalities of many who are reading this.
As for the drink, this week I’m all about indulging in whatever makes you feel truly cool. Whether it’s a dirty martini or a DC with a lemon slice – choose what speaks to you. As for me? I’m sipping on hot water to “reset” after my friends and I polished off eight bottles of wine this weekend. It’s all about balance (kumbaya).
See you soon.
xx, Xtina.
I think the replication also has something to di with certain aesthetic applied on social media. Aesthetic this and aesthetic that, there's a need to be put in a label. Great writing!